I got a call from one of my "friends" wanting me to meet him at a strip club. We met up at the nastiest strip club ever. These broads had stab and bullet wounds. On some of these scallywags you could see how they were showing off their C-section scars. One of them was even pregnant. This was the type of place where they should have been playing the dudes for lap dances. It was called Crybabies. The piece of shit is closed now. It was so dark in there. My guess is so you couldn't really get a look at the tramps they had in there dancing. The only lights they had in there were light bulbs hanging over the mini stages that the girls danced on. The mini stages were what looked like old pool tables. This wasn't my first strip club just the nastiest. To make matters worse it was BYOB. There was a little bit of everything going on in there right in the open. It was as if each corner had it's own function. The had a corner where some men were gambling, a corner for buying drugs. The back wall was for the lap dances and blow jobs. There was a girl getting a Heineken bottle shoved up her pussy for a dollar! These bitches where bad off for real. I am sure you are wondering why in the hell we are even in there...or why I am at least. My friend had some business he had to tend to in one of those corners. While he as taking care of his business was when I was able to see all of the bullshit taking place. These girls were dancing and letting these random ass men eat their coochies and put fingers, pool sticks whatever else they could find in there. I don't know what could happen to a person to get this low. Some of these bastards didn't even tip. I actually seen a dude in there eating pussy. Now it is bad enough to even let one of these whores suck your dick with 3 condoms on. But to see a man eating one of these hookers pussy made me throw up in my mouth! I am sure he got instant AIDS that night.
We leave and are headed to my place. As nasty as that place was I couldn't help feeling horny. I had a lot of time while I was sitting at the bar drinking. I was good n drunk by the time we got home. It was like a train wreck in there. I just couldn't look away! As soon as we get to my place it is going down! We are ripping off each other's clothes. He threw me against the wall and starts by eating my pussy. Turns my around and starts fucking me doggie style. Whoa nah. Right there on the wall. It was something to go down in the history books, or at least a blog. I have always wanted to have sex like on the movie "Sliver". It was the movie with one of the Baldwin boys and Sharon Stone. There was a scene in the movie where she went to meet him in his apartment. He appears out of no where and just takes it. He doesn't say a word he throws her against the wall and starts hitting that ass from the back. Sounds good huh? It was.
The next morning when I wake up I am starving! I decided that I am going to cook us breakfast. I am not the domestic type at all. I though that I would show my appreciation for last night by cooking breakfast. Nothing major bacon, eggs, and biscuits. I cook my bacon in a Pyrex dish in the oven because I cannot stand popping grease. When the bacon is done, I take it out of the oven and place it on the stove until the eggs are done. I hear the bacon popping again that is when I realized I had left one of the eyes on. No big deal I take the bacon off of the stove and place the pan on the microwave. As soon as it touched the microwave...KA-POW, BOOM, BLAM!! The got damn pan explodes! There is grease and glass every damn where. I have grease dripping from my ceiling. My friends peeks into the kitchen I am sure expecting to see my bloody headless corpse laying on the kitchen floor. I am standing there with I am sure a look of horror on my face. I was standing there speechless with my hand over my mouth. All he said was...
"Say lil mamma. Sounds like you fucked something up."
Well no shit. It was so loud I am surprised the nosey ass lady from next door didn't call the police. Once he discovered that I wasn't dead or hurt. He must have laughed for 10 minutes straight. I have to admit I was laughing too. That shit was hilarious. Who in the hell blows up a Pyrex dish? I still don't know why or how in the hell that happened. I was still finding pieces of Pyrex here and there until the day I moved out of that place. Needless to say I have learned my lesson. I don't own anything Pyrex! The most important lesson I learned from all of this is...You can't turn a ho into a housewife.
We leave and are headed to my place. As nasty as that place was I couldn't help feeling horny. I had a lot of time while I was sitting at the bar drinking. I was good n drunk by the time we got home. It was like a train wreck in there. I just couldn't look away! As soon as we get to my place it is going down! We are ripping off each other's clothes. He threw me against the wall and starts by eating my pussy. Turns my around and starts fucking me doggie style. Whoa nah. Right there on the wall. It was something to go down in the history books, or at least a blog. I have always wanted to have sex like on the movie "Sliver". It was the movie with one of the Baldwin boys and Sharon Stone. There was a scene in the movie where she went to meet him in his apartment. He appears out of no where and just takes it. He doesn't say a word he throws her against the wall and starts hitting that ass from the back. Sounds good huh? It was.
The next morning when I wake up I am starving! I decided that I am going to cook us breakfast. I am not the domestic type at all. I though that I would show my appreciation for last night by cooking breakfast. Nothing major bacon, eggs, and biscuits. I cook my bacon in a Pyrex dish in the oven because I cannot stand popping grease. When the bacon is done, I take it out of the oven and place it on the stove until the eggs are done. I hear the bacon popping again that is when I realized I had left one of the eyes on. No big deal I take the bacon off of the stove and place the pan on the microwave. As soon as it touched the microwave...KA-POW, BOOM, BLAM!! The got damn pan explodes! There is grease and glass every damn where. I have grease dripping from my ceiling. My friends peeks into the kitchen I am sure expecting to see my bloody headless corpse laying on the kitchen floor. I am standing there with I am sure a look of horror on my face. I was standing there speechless with my hand over my mouth. All he said was...
"Say lil mamma. Sounds like you fucked something up."
Well no shit. It was so loud I am surprised the nosey ass lady from next door didn't call the police. Once he discovered that I wasn't dead or hurt. He must have laughed for 10 minutes straight. I have to admit I was laughing too. That shit was hilarious. Who in the hell blows up a Pyrex dish? I still don't know why or how in the hell that happened. I was still finding pieces of Pyrex here and there until the day I moved out of that place. Needless to say I have learned my lesson. I don't own anything Pyrex! The most important lesson I learned from all of this is...You can't turn a ho into a housewife.
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